Please No More April Fools This Year

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Who’s the one in your life who always injects the party with spoiler alert:  “some things are not funny?”  I love to laugh almost as much as I love making others laugh, but what if maybe, sometimes, some things are just not funny?

Like the injustice of giving such a beautiful name as Antonin to someone too unpatriotic to do what’s least funny for his country: desert it in resignation, as easily as his judgment deserts equality statutes which could decree a nation, exceptional.

Still much further down the funny slippery sloop, boorish faux pas reporting of April foolishness prematurely, just for the fun of it, ‘but I kid’ Borowitz.

A sense of humor or comic timing are no less art form than mastering musical instruments, speaking truth to power, or risking the fool’s errand of forgetting a child’s after school laughter.

What’s less funny than a lipstick up your half-darkness in half time commitment to a cold state of trooper affairs, while impersonating stand up guys and dolls, with soda jerk half measures for the half-witted terrified of change?

Could it be the Right funny boned cheering crowd, hoping guffaws drown out their booing of military gays serving in not funny wars, to insure Party re-branding back home, can April fool itself, if not “wetbacks” by any other name.

We could cry until we can laugh about all the names we call the most normal persons, places and things, just because using intellectually correct designations leaves us laughably, red faced politically.

Why is it so preferable to applaud ignorance than encourage its most honorable opposite: education?

Betcha can’t think of all the different substitute names we assign human body parts, without at least smiling, because vagina, penis and pubic hair just aren’t funny enough to share in schools, even those without cheating superintendents.

It’s not funny to wash the feet of the poor in tribute and remembrance of the love from all the power there is.  Far less funny still, to criticize a Pope’s first Easter spent emulating so godly and humane humility.

Funny unites tears and laughter closer than they’ve ever been, like watching, in afterglow, your loved one dancing around the room; or a kitten racing across the carpet thinking your passing through, is in hot pursuit of it; or getting dizzy watching the dog circling before landing, with a sigh, in perfect repose.

However, funny is definitely not canonizing a sound bite reactionary blaming government of, by and for the people, in inept ridicule of Welfare, without mentioning the jokesters, who like circus clowns, distract while plying a wall of tricks of the trading street – laughing all the way to their tax evading corporations:  Bank of America, ExxonMobil, CitiGroup and Goldman Sachs, just to name a laughable few.

Thus, all a glee in private giggle, they publically gouge city, county and state governments, by whoring their mistresses, Boeing, Walmart, JPMorgan Chase & Co, AMC and General Motors, for annual incentives of eighty billion pork, provided by self-promoting Congressional K Street stud wannabes poking ‘We the People,” by giving their children’s education budgets the kiss off.

If you think Kim Jong-un’s need to be taken seriously is funny, you’re going to die laughing at Corporatism’s United Corporate Welfare States of America April Fool’s punch lines.  Or do you prefer the one where a Federal Judge declines Six Hundred Million Dollar Wall Street Waltz between SEC insider, Hedge Fund Billionaire Steven Cohen, while FBI cuts in.

But ‘dowoon wurry uh bow id’, Saint “Ronnie” white washed and passed it along to Ayn Rand’s Paul Ryan trickle up economics, knowing the only thing GOP needs us to be is…”None so blind as those who will not see:” Corporate bonuses come from thee.

Taxpayer bailouts are Corporate Welfare.  Reagan just juxtaposed his ”Queens.”


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